


Dear diary, it's me again.

by Arthur-Elish (Ann_Arthur001)



Category: Fate/Grand Order
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dark, BL, Boys In Love, Falling In Love, I thought this was nice at first., M/M, They really are Alters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:20:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27249463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ann_Arthur001/pseuds/Arthur-Elish
Summary: Gilgamesh has a 'normal' life with certain ups and downs, he never cared what would happen to him on different occasions.Arthur will turn the situation around
Relationships: Gilgamesh Alter | Alter/ Arthur Pendragon Alter | Lancer, Gilgamesh | Archer/Arthur Pendragon | Saber
Comments: 5
Kudos: 13





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey— Hello! This is me!.... Again.... 
> 
> Okay, before I started thanking @Lea and @Wren who gave me permission to use Gilgamesh alter for this story, a famous character created from the Psagil server -w- 
> 
> If you still don't know what this little blue boy is like, I recommend reading the story where he makes his first appearance
> 
>   
>  [Here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26685637)   
> 
> 
>   
> 
> 
> Warning number two (I'm not a native English speaker, please keep me patient qwq) 

Gilgamesh possessed catastrophic insecurities of all kinds, about his image, about the treaty of people towards him, about the humiliation of being who he is and remaining the same. 

If you ask him, he will never remember or mention a happy moment between his childhood and most of his teenage years. And most of the time, it was because Gil thought he deserved all the terrible things in the world, and his actions (unconsciously) dragged him into that. 

It was all until he went to college. 

All the students went alone at their own pace, No one realized their existence and they didn't mind knowing it. Gilgamesh was no stranger to the need to want to have friends, he really wanted to, but if no one in his class was trying to meet others, then he should imitate them. 

In his classroom, Gil's preferred seat was the background, one close to the window, privacy and oblivion, almost no one sat back, because they wanted to retain as much information as possible that the teacher dictated clearly, but Gilgamesh did not need to sit up front to understand what the teacher was doing. 

(Of course He wouldn't raise my hand to answer your questions, but you'd always have the right answer written in your notebook and exams) 

His college life had been relatively 'normal' for someone as introverted and distressing as him. Until halfway through the cycle all that changed. 

A day that must have been 'normal'. 

He filled bored people in a large studio, listening to what a man about to die had to say about ancient math theories.

Peace was disturbed when the door of the place opened thunderously interrupting the class. 

— Mr. Pendragon...—The professor seemed surprised by the attitude of the tall man who had interrupted his explanations. 

— Sorry for the delay. 

His voice was monotonous, inexpressive, but he managed strangely to impose fear. Gilgamesh's pink eyes analyzed him for a second. This 'Pendragon' was tall, pale, amber eyes and his hair... It looked like the blonde had lost the intensity of those golden strand features. Just to possess a sad and pitiful color. 

The professor settled on his glasses, as if what he was seeing was unreal, and told the 'Pendragon' that he will take a seat. 

The tall man began to climb the steps to sit on one of the long benches of the classroom. 

Gilgamesh didn't know who that person was, but he was definitely astonished when all the students (even the teacher and the poor man who had arrived minutes earlier to take the trash out of the inner dumpsters) began to follow him with his gaze so religiously, attentive to all his actions. 

_Step by step._

Until reality hit him like a bucket of cold water and surprised him when he saw that fearsome man get to where he was and sat next to him. For a moment He saw people's eyes staring at him, so embarrassed that He crouched his head so that he could not see them, but little hard attention, because they all really focused on Pendragon. 

Then the murmurs, the typical gossips and questions began outside of what it would have to do with the class.

Gilgamesh tried not to see him, if He didn't look at him, maybe Pendragon don't know what's there. 

_Just like everybody else._

In addition, you probably didn't even notice it when you came to sit there. 

Gilgamesh could ask him for a pencil he didn't need and scare him into sitting somewhere else. 

Of course, if he had more confidence in himself, all he'll do now, he'd be quiet and not bother the 'scary lord' if he wanted to stay alive. 

It was a few minutes before the teacher asked for order awkwardly and students will stop casting glances back. 

The minutes that went by for Gil were eternal. It wasn't until he seemed to reassure himself that the golden eyes next to him spoke. 

—Are you a ghost? 

_Auch._

Gilgamesh buffooned a little but in a low whisper he tried to answer :—No

— Ah, so if you're alive. 

_That hurts._

Gilgamesh didn't answer, his continued to face tending the exercises put on the huge blackboard. Writing patiently, and trying to solve them in an instant, it wasn't until He was curious about his dark companion next door, and He just wanted to see what he was going to do. And to his surprise, that man didn't move a finger to solve the exercises, he didn't even seem to have brought a notebook. 

_Should I give him a leaf_

Gil thought, but shook his head, maybe this Pendragon was a bandalo who had been forced to attend

— It's 16 — Arthur said quietly, and Gilgamesh only looked at him in disbelief, and he had not even written his resolution. It was impossible for him… 

Gil wrote numbers too fast... The answer was indeed 16.

The pink eyes looked at Pendragon once, then his own notebooks, then Pendragon, he was like this for a long time. 

—16...— he said, affirming the response of his pale companion next door. 

Apparently this was heard by the golden-eyed one, because he smiled low and his long arm extended Up as far as he could, and then he speak loudly: — Here they already have the answer — He interrupt the class a second time, but the professor was frozen again. 

— I'm not done explaining how this is resolved, — the pitiful senior man said. 

Gilgamesh, for his part, was scared,He knew what Pendragon was up to and he wasn't happy with that. His heart was in his throat, he definitely didn't want to participate, he didn't even want to go to the front of the board, not when he could be calm waiting for someone with enough self-esteem to go and offer to solve the problem. 

— Man, This guy has it all figured out, and… I'm sure everyone here already knows how the theory of Gottfried. 

Little laughter was present but the professor didn't seem to want to take the opposite. 

He gave a heavy sigh —Well, Mr. Elish, step forward here.

Gilgamesh shrugged, he definitely didn't want to go to the front, but everything was too despairing, everyone's looks were really directing at him at that moment, now he's sweating, and he feels a particularly painful knot in his stomach. 

He was going up, he knew that by order of his teacher he should be in charge. 

He breathed deep and took awkward steps, trying not to stumble as they kept looking at him. 

. 

. 

. 

_________________

Class was over normally

And the end of the educational day had come, everyone was already dating. 

Gilgamesh was lying on his desk, had used all the mental strength he had to go to the front, clearly the answer He had executed was correct (obviously) but He didn't want the whole the class to see it. 

He had even deeper thoughts of his inner shame, if it were not for a laughter he going back to reality. 

Gilgamesh raised his head, had a pitiful face, but his eyes stared at Pendragon. 

Why wasn't he gone? 

— Your little act of before was cute — said the golden-eyed one with a smile gil didn't know how to recogniz. 

— Why did you do that? — A little annoyance approached in his weak and quiet voice, which made him more adorable in sight of his companion.

—You looked like someone who always has the answer, but their self-confidence makes you not participate in classes. 

Gilgamesh closed his eyes and moved his head to the opposite side— In the university it's not so important to participate, if I can have the right answers on the exam… 

The blond smile with interest — So you're the typical quiet nerd. 

—I'm not a Nerd, I'm just… 

— But if you're quiet,— Pendragon smiled

— Who are you? — Gil look at it and the other man smiled even more. 

The golden eyes opened in surprise, he could feel like this guy was trying to find the right words without scaring him. 

—A student like you. 

Gilgamesh's pink eyes reflected distrust, but his face had not a single expression. 

— A student... 'Normal' wouldn't calm down a whole class and leave the professor wanting to cry... 

— I have certain tricks— the blond lr flirty wink, and Gil's cheeks blushed, again, he moved his head in the opposite direction so he wouldn't see it. 

—How do I know you're not a serial killer? Or a thief?

—How many people do I have to kill for you to consider me a serial killer? 

Gilgamesh was silent thinking about his answer — five… ?

— Then no — his smile grew wider. 

Gilgamesh looked at him inexpressively, perhaps unhappy with his joke, but said nothing, got up from his seat and started picking up his things, placing them in his briefcase one by one. 

— Are you leaving? — The blond's deep voice gave him chills again. 

Gilgamesh just nodded and a little babbling trying to say yes. 

When he finished keeping everything he felt like the blonde also got up and Gil looked at him strangely. 

And Pendragon realized that. 

— What? 

—Were you waiting for me? 

— I thought it would be nicer to tell you that I'd come with you when we were outside the room, but yes, I was waiting for you. 

—... — Gilgamesh was silent, wondering what the hell he'd gotten himself into, because there was no reason for this handsome man to so desperately want to be by his side, he tried to move forward and listen to each other's footsteps doing the same.

It was silent when they left the complex of academic structures, Gil hoped that a group of boys would be outside waiting to hit him, and that 'Pendragon' was there only to take care of him that he did not escape. But there was no one, not a soul, just normal people, seeing them both. 

Gilgamesh realized at that moment that he was staring at everyone.He blushed with shame and carefully placed his trusty hood over his head, hiding his turquoise hair from everyone's sight.

He heard a buffoon from the blond behind him, but nothing more than that.

—Why do you want to come with me? — Gil asked in a whisper, — I don't even know who you really are.

— Don't you think it's a little late to ask that? — The tall man stood by him — My name is Arthur Pendragon and I was an example student for the last three years of this university.

Gilgamesh looked at him inexpressively and then turned his gaze to the road — I never heard of you.

— Well, it hardly seems like you talk to people, I think it's obvious that my name you doesn't look familiar... — This time Gilgamesh turned his gaze to him with some interest — Before I started the cycle I had a little fight with some teachers and students — Arthur should not be proud of that behavior, but a disguised smile furged his lips with satisfaction — Two of the teachers ended up in emergency and the students arranged surgery appointments, because of that I was admitted to a correctional facilities until last week...

Gilgamesh heard enough when the word "Emergencies" resoned in his head and sped up, Arthur shouted something like "Oh Come on! Is it seriously?" before approaching him.

— Please I ask you to stay away from me,— said the pink-eyed.

He tried to walk away, but hoped Arthur would take his arm tightly and force him to stop him, but it wasn't, on the other hand, the blond just came forward to stand in front of him. Gilgamesh watched him, even believing he would be mistreated by that man. But nothing came.

— Do you remember? — His voice for a strange reason seemed to have hope. 

Gilgamesh stopped his way, and Arthur recoiled his own.

— I don't know what you're talking about, — he replied, trying not to seem worried.

— Gilgamesh Elish, you know very well what I mean. 

— No… I don't know, and please, I tell you to stop joining me.

Arthur did not insist any more, and Gilgamesh surrounded him to get on with his way.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I'm not a native English speaker, please be patient with me)

Arthur had entered his life long before he knew it. 

_Gilgamesh was struggling against his captors, he did not know how many they were, but differentiating between teachers and students, all with malicious and unpleasant intentions, touching him where they wanted, and he was not strong enough to stop them._

_He shouted "Help" many times before resigning himself to no one coming to save him, almost crying but remembering the words of men about him._

"You provoked us" "You seduced us"

_Gilgamesh didn't want to believe it, but every time his voice let out strange noises when he was relieved, he believed them._

_It wasn't until the main event was about to begin that it was again straight, rarely showing emotions similar to fear, but it was hard to avoid at times like these._

_He managed to free one of his legs and that was the advantage he had before miraculously getting out of the way of them all, with his broken shirt and his uncomfortable trousers he came out agitated from the lab._

_He heard the screams of the men about to chase him, maybe to beat him. And he closed his eyes tightly, wishing he wasn't there. At the time, he stumbled upon someone who did not differentiate himself by the adrenaline he had, and as soon as he remembered that he had to keep escaping, he walked away from the stranger._

_On the other hand, he disappeared from the hallway, and the poor stranger was confused, but he was no stranger to what happened, the boy with turquoise hair was escaping, frightened, blushing, his pupils dilated to his touch, and his clothes in terrible conditions, showed the obvious._

_Gilgamesh rushed to outside security where the few students who had watched him wonder what happened to him, but did not stop to answer them._

___________________

Gil awoke Suddenly , saw around him altered, was in the safety of his room, sweating, and with his eyes full of tears. 

He clean them in silence, watching his watch mark "4:36 am" and wrapped himself in his sheets again, thinking that he, the day after that incident, had received an email from the school, dictating that a stoneware had occurred the day before and that classes were suspended until after a week. 

He never had the curiosity to investigate further, but was surprised when the victims of the fight were the same men who wanted to abuse him. 

That time he silently thanked a divine being for such righteousness. But now He was looking at thingand... And If Arthur was the guy who had intervened with them? Why would He do it in the first place? They didn't both know each other until yesterday. There was no special reason. 

He snuggled more against himself, biting his fingernail as he deciphered that dilemma, was intriguing and that despaired him

Ask anyone, Gilgamesh was not sociable and owed nothing to anyone and vice versa  
I take a deep breath, and he stopped biting his thumb fingernail to relax, he came out of bed and opened his briefcase, he had a personal diary, his psychologist told him it was good to write his thoughts if he had no one to do it with, he opened the leaves, and he had everything that had happened to him. 

From the death of his parents and best friend, to his attempted rape. Then he grabbed his pen and wrote on a blank sheet. 

"Why?" 

.  
.  
.

____________

He entered the classroom in silence, and was taken with the surprise that Arthur was next to his seat, smiling, and that caused Gilgamesh to sit ahead for the first time in three years Today

_"Get away from trouble" is something he would always repeat himself._

_It was early, so they waited a long time for most new students to arrive, and when that happened, a fairly young man walked through the door with an overly elegant briefcase._

Everyone looked at him curiously. 

— Good Morning, students, Today I will be your new professor of Mathematics, Poor Mr. 'Kimblee' delivered his resignation letter yesterday, so I will replace him, A taste, I am Dr 'Chiron' — His enthusiasm was contagious and Gilgamesh nodded in the form of respect. But he felt the sorrow of a look at him from that moment on, he wanted to see everywhere but the professor began to dictate his class 

Naturally in a high school they would be asking funny questions about everyone, but college was a serious subject, and as soon as a teacher showed up, the day was starting as usual. 

The recess bell rang, and Gilgamesh kept some pencils before getting up, and meeting Arthur's chest. 

— What are you doing? — Gilgamesh said without taking off, so the question did not sound very clear. 

Arthur laughed — We're going to eat something together — He backed up, letting Gil's face be free of his chest after which Gil stroked himself nose. 

— I don't want to…— Gil's pink eyes showed no feeling but the way his eyebrows were showed he was a little upset. 

— Of course you want — Gil was going to say something when Arthur's hand started moving his turquoise hair. 

— H-Hey 

Arthur left his hair to take one of his hands and taking him out of the classroom, Gilgamesh didn't complain, anyway Arthur seemed like a difficult man to change his mind. 

A teacher's gaze seemed concerned to see the two students get out of there Gilgamesh didn't notice, but Arthur had directed a creepy look at his teacher, a warning? He wouldn't know. 

________________

Arthur had taken him to the yard where there were many people, Gilgamesh put on his hood so that no one would look at him and Arthur jestered quietly. 

— Why the hood? 

The question came suddenly, and Gilgamesh looked at him. 

— I don't want to be looked at. 

Arthur arched an eyebrow. 

Gilgamesh shook his head before he changed the subject — didn't I tell you I didn't want to be with you? 

The blonde shrugged — I'll stop bothering you with that subject if you want, I don't want to force you to do something. 

Gilgamesh was surprised — That's very kind of someone who stabbed several people 

— Well, I want to be your friend, so you can't help that. 

—… Is this an order? 

— It's really an invitation 

_—…_

Gilgamesh look detour, perhaps thinking of that answer, some of him wanted to keep discovering because Arthur had done what he did, but he was not happy. 

_._

_._

_._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah~ Two chapters in a day uwu


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I'm not a native English speaker, so... If you see faults, I ask for patience ;;)

Gilgamesh was studying for the half-year exams in his room. 

It was not necessary for him to spend much time reading calculation exercises, to begin with, he was a good student with a privileged memory capacity, so in a few minutes he would finish his slight review. 

He pound his cheek vaguely with the rubber of his pencil, sighing as he heavily removed the break lenses he had. And timidly consuming a bag of gummies that he bought hours earlier in a common store. 

It was night so the tranquility in his small apartment. He leaned over in his own chair, looking for comfort for his back while watching his backpack carefully. 

His blue hair tilted forward when Gil decided to get up from his chair and go to his briefcase to carefully pull out his diary. And with a slow pace he sat back at his desk. 

He opened it with interest as he read the paragraphs he had written that afternoon in the University. 

"Today at recess Arthur took me to lunch, I guess we're friends now…" 

The word "I guess" in that sentence was because Gilgamesh wasn't sure if he really wanted to befriend Arthur, the man was intense and was notoriously possessive for no apparent reason, Gilgamesh wanted to think that he didn't care but… In his position it was kind of difficult. 

He slowly approach his pencil to the sheet of his diary with the intention of writing something about Arthur's intense character, if not because his phone began to vibrate on his desk.

He would have kept writing if it wasn't for the sound of the notification being "messaging." 

It wouldn't be strange for a person with a high social life to get a message, but if you're someone like Gilgamesh obviously the reaction is different. 

The only people who wrote to him were Ereshkigal (the tragic girlfriend of his late best friend) who wrote to him on weekends only to find out if he was okay, Siduri, who wrote only in the mornings to find out if he had breakfast properly and Ishtar, who only wrote to ask if there was any unfinished business. 

It could probably have been Ishtar sending a message for that, but for some reason Gilgamesh knew it wasn't her, and none of the women mentioned. 

It was too late, at that hour, they should be resting. 

He picked up his cell phone and observed that an unknown number wrote to him. 

"--(A):--Studying too late?--" 

Gilgamesh wrinkled his nose, some of this was very familiar to him, and although all his senses said to walk away and ignore him, for some reason he did not. 

"--(G):--Excuse me... do I know this number?--"

"--(A):--Oh no, I think I got confused, let me think, am I talking to the sexiest person in this universe?--"

Gilgamesh frowned somewhat blushing, what the hell?

"--(G):--I think your got confused…" Gilgamesh was no longer considered an attractive person, if at some point in his past he did so perhaps it was because of his already defunct high self-esteem. 

The person on the other side of the screen took time to write and Gil was anxious. 

"--(A):--Gilgamesh--" 

Gilgamesh's unexpressed face frowned, this person knew who he really was, and immediately knew who it was about. 

"--(G):--Why do you have my number, Arthur?-- It's terrifying--"

And that if was his Friend Arthur? Was there a reason to have your number without his consent? How did he get it? 

"--(A):--I'm on the student council, it's not hard to see the records you entered at the beginning of the year~--"

"--(G):--That's ok... I guess--" 

Clearly that wasn't right! It's almost sick and dangerous! But what could Gil say about this? He literally can't tell Arthur to delete his number and look for it the right way. 

Which is "asking" 

But Gilgamesh can't say, instead he only gave a slight "ok" while unconsciously combing one of his blue hair. 

"--(A):--I'm glad it doesn't bother you, for a moment I thought you'd take it as a weird gesture--"

It's exactly how his taking it! 

Gilgamesh did not answer, not because he did not want to, but because he did not know exactly what to say, he was used to responding with short words like "yes" "no" or "maybe"

"--(A):--You're upset, aren't you?--"

Gilgamesh nodded, and then he felt like an idiot nodding in front of his cell phone when obviously the person on the other side couldn't see him.

Instinctively he blushed. 

"--(G):--I was studying--are you doing it too?--" 

Gilgamesh saw his notebooks, and walked away from his desk, only to lie on his bed with his cell phone.

As soon as his body touched the bed, he got another message. 

"--(A):--Yes, I was studying, but it's kind of hard when I can't get you out of my head--"

Gilgamesh didn't understand the hint this time. 

"--(G):--Did I do something wrong?--" 

"--(A):--Not really, but you're very cute, honey."

Thank you? Actually Gilgamesh did not know what to do, a part of him was uncomfortable, perhaps by the obvious show of affection and on the other hand, for some unknown reason he liked it. 

Gilgamesh, for his part, enjoyed the talk, they would spend hours in front of their phones talking about anything, and it would only end until Gil fell asleep with an unsused message in the tray. 

"--(G):--I like to have a friend--"

__________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really don't know howI've been saving for a semester so it doesn't update (-u-) it turns out that's how we started with the usual schedule. 
> 
> (I really wanted to make this chapter more extensive but my creativity is only boosted for this, I hope you liked!)

**Author's Note:**

> Oh, yes... This will have more chapters...


End file.
